вторник, ноември 27, 2001


I won't be updating too often ( for now I guess I have been more than regulary updater)
I don't have time to think about life
eventhough I have time to stare in front of irc and tv and in front of a beer surrounded by lud music
I really do not have time to think about life in general
and this was supposed to be the main topic of the blog, at least it's subtopic says so "about me, my life........"(how unoriginal.....but damn it , who says I am original)
even if I have time to think about life in general I am too lazy to do it
I can say that I am reading a very good book by Kurt Vonnegut........Fates Worse than death. The book is about his life in general, about his father, mother, sister Alice, Ernest Heingway, Henrich Boll, bombing of Dresden, Jackson Pollock.......and it is the hell of a good book.
Collocvial, sweet, inteligent, open, smart, wise, experienced, secure, ironically-sarcastic but yet still innocent language
I guess I am gouing to write a degree paper on Vonnegut.......he deserves it:)))) ( I wanted to write on Irvine Welsh but since I would be the only expert on the subject.....it's not really acceptable)

In 2 weeks time I am leaving for Macedonia
I am very happy about it
I spend too much money I cannot control it I guess I need to see a Pscychatrist......but he will cost me also.......

thanx for coming
thanx for looking at this letters and asking yourself "what the hell is wrong with her"
the thing is, I don't know it anyway
but does it matter

sign my poor guestbook pls.....

сабота, ноември 24, 2001

2 wild nights (ok, not so wild, i was too carefull to do something very wild)
1 cup of coffe
a pack of l&m lights
and mustard
3 shelves of books
one computer
one television
2 windows
3 laps
2 tables ( a bigger and smaller)
1 door

and some other things such us stereo, walkman, 2 telephones, the hewlett packard:) 3 candles, 1 big red from the bottom white from the above, 2 small :1 red and one blue
2 speakers 120 W........

that's my reality for today
I love it

четврток, ноември 22, 2001


As you might know, the albanian terrorists (named themselves National liberation army) had decided to "dissarm", if Macedonia changes the Constitution giving lot more "rights" to their minority. There were long negotiations in Ohrid (between the leaders of 2 greatest macedonian and 2 albanian political parties), which finished 13 ("lucky") August (just 3 and 5 days ago were killed 8 and 10 soldiers, for to be sabotaged the peace agreement) with the so-called "draft agreement", which included: disarmment of NLA by NATO, changes in Macedonian Constitution giving "the citizens of minority communities consisting at least 20% of the population" more "rights" (I will discuss later about them) resembled in 18 amendments, and an amnesty for those terrorists who did not permitted war crimes (which fall in the jurisdiction of the Der Haag tribunal of war crimes).

And so it begin... NATO in August/September came in their mission "essential harvest", and "harvested" only 4.000 light infantry weapons (30% unusable; and 60% older than 20 years). This mission was so ridicilous, that several Non-government organizations organized a parody as a counter-answer: "We harvested the watermelons" in which they collected watermelons, bananas, pens, dolls, eggs, onions, buckets, shafts... even an rubble car! and handed them to NATO as light and heavy weapons (by the way, the expression "we harvested the watermelons" in Macedonian language /not only in SE regions where that crop is planted/ means "we scr*wed up"). Parallely to this "disarmment", in 3 phases, was open the public discussion about the Constitutional amendments.

That discussion was very prolonged, as the amendments were insulting to the Macedonian nation. Namely, for to be [formally] avoided the bi-national or federal state, from the Preambula and the normative text of the Constitution was erased the term "Macedonian people/nation", and substituted with "Citizens of Macedonia", or even "majority population". Also, the Macedonian Orthodox Church was to be put in the same rank as Islamic Religious Community, as well as Catholic, Protestant, etc. Church, Jewish Community and Jehowa's Withnesses (alltogether these have no more than 1% of the population), which was also insulting for most of the Macedonians, Serbs and Wlachs, being Orthodox; this would mean larger access of Islam and religious sects to media (and dividing-up the peoples on religious basis), as well as benefitions in gaining/denationalizing property (ooh, that was the main idea with this amendment: Islamic Community had had many large properties, nationalized after withdrawal of Turks in 1912, some in 1920, and the rest in 1945 after the coming up of Communists, who also nationalized much of the Churches' properties).

So, there were many stretchings about the Preambula, and some more amendments; but finally we succeeded to fight up a Preambula where are mentioned both Macedonian and Albanian peoples (instead "Macedonian people, together with the Albanians, Turks, Serbs, Wlachs and Roms [=Gypsies]..." it now begins "The citizens of Macedonia, the Macedonian people, as well as the part of Albanian people, the part of.... people living within Macedonia...."). But, this crisis around Preambula (mostly emotional) was only for to be avoided crisis around the normative text of the Constitution.

And now you may ask: what are the new rights given to Albaninas (and other minorities, as the Constitution differs "majority" and "minority *communities*", not specifying what kind of communities are they; meaning "ethnic" - some say that this terminology of Constitution brings us up to the Primitive Community! :)) ). Well:

- many laws (considering education, health, funding...) must be voted with at least 1/2 of the parliament deputies origining from minority communities [which means: political blackmail]; - same conditions for voting 1/3 of the Constitutional Court [meaning: they got to be Albanians]; - there is "inter-community council" which could vetoize some Parliament decisions [that would be a kind of "House of Lords"]; - all minorities consisting at least 20% of the population (Albanians are 30-35%, and it refers only to them) have their language official at the WHOLE territory of Macedonia (another version of that amendmet, considering "language spoken by at least 20% of the population" would officialize also Serbian and English, perhaps even Bulgarian and French languages?!?); in local communities that right was present long ago! - new law for local self-government should give local communes higher budget [collected nationwide, not locally!] more ingerences over education, health, planning... [which means: no money for ethnic macedonian pupils/teachers and patients/doctors; planing was already local] and even the right of allying of some communes [= federalization at back door, if all albianian-majority communes are united]/ - the Ombudsman must be voted not only by 2/3 votes of all deputies, but also with 2/3 votes of minority deputies [which means: he must be of Albanian origin, or very close to one]; - same conditions are worth for future changes of the Constitution; - that conditions would be worth even for declaring new national symbols, which means... a black hawk [=albanian national symbol] on our herald and flag!!! :(( [note: Macedonia still hasn't adopted a post-communist herald, and the current anthem contains the non-constitutional words "Macedonians"?!?]; - Macedonian Orthodox Church no longer has any advantage over other religious communities, although it played a very important historical role in survival of Macedonian nation during the 1000 years of slavery of our nation; - The police and the army must reflect the ethnic dispersion in their command structures [which means: all military secrets open to Albanians in a possible future uprising]; - with a final "under-door" verbal amendment, the working quorum of the Parliament was erased (not 61 out of 120, but - no mentioned!), which means sessions with only 5-6 deputies present!!! a worldwide NON-SENSE!

Of course, these constitutional changes would affect many (1/2 or more) of all laws, which are yet to be changed... And who says that this downhill process would stop here?!? Albanians didn't showed any respect to this country, offering the greatest minority rights in Europe that a *unitary* non-immingrant country could afford!!!

The situation at the terrian is still unchanged: albanian guerilla, renamed themselves from "National liberation army" to "Albanian national army" and continued with provocations; 2 days before voting of amendments were killed 3 policemen!!! The hypocricious "international community" tells us: "Treat them as terrorists! We dissarmed the *rebels*, and you accepted the peace demands... There could be no rebels any more!"; but, nevertheless, in practice they still support them: they didn't cut their money flows [earned by albanian narco-mafia, helding 70% of herione market in Western Europe and a bit in USA], they didn't arrest the suspicied terrorists in WE or in Kosovo; they even send generals to *train* albanian terrorists!!!

The hypocricious western leaders and diplomats are, namely, for conserving Macedonia within these borers, but do anything to harm us and to realize the idea of "Greater Albania". What makes them so albano-phils? Yes, there is a strong albanian lobby in WE and US, sponsored by criminal money, which does it - and politicians usially got corrupted; another thing is the theory that all Slavic nations are Russian allies and Western enemies, which is a kind of *RACISM* towards us (Russia, unlike for Serbia, has no real interests in Macedonia; their support is just verbal in the Security council of UN); while Poland and Czech Republic (now members of NATO) are still calm - they let US to do whatever likes, knowing that if they resist, they might be excluded from the Alliance!

However, after 11 September America and the West are no more the same. They understood that the terrorism once sponsored by them [chech the biography of Osama bin Laden, to see who taught him so well] could later turn against them. There were recorded materials of mujahedin fighters in wars in Bosnia, Kosovo and Macedonia; our intelligence even caught them on a video recording! And, as a schlagworth - yesterday, among the captured international Taliban fighters, were 6 having Macedonians passports [the news agencies didn't mentioned - whether they were Albanians, or Arabs, who got Macedonian citizenship with help of the albanian functioners in the macedonian government! Either way, it shows that Albanians and Talibans /aren't they just PERMUTATIONS OF LETTERS :) / work for the same ISLAMIC CAUSE!!!].

And, what are the consequences of all this? Macedonia is up to be defeated (and most Macedonians have no intention to fight for a "multiethnic coexistence" - that's just an utopistic dream, from which we were waken up a year ago). The scenario of remaining of the Albanians within Macedonian borders is even worse than division of Macedonia, as they might breed up enough for to became majority themselves within 7-10 years (having the average fertility rate of 6 children per family, that estimation is really good!), and re-take Macedonia by voting only!!! [that thing happened on Fiji last year; and more nations with lower fertility rate, including USA, Canada and France, would have that problem SOON]. None of the deputies (or intelectuals) mentioned the albanian bitch-breeding and colonization of Macedonia as a problem; none asked for a Constitutional amendment for limiting the child birth of "families unable to support more than 1 child" (= mostly Albanians and Gypsies), neither the easy-to-comply conditions (5 years of residence and few words in Macedonian) for gaining Macedonian citizenship of foreign (mostly - Albanian from Kosovo) immigrants [= colonists]! So, if Macedonia is betrayed, it is betrayed *first of all* by Macedonians!

But, the division of Macedonia would have a great impact to european separatisms! It would be a first time, after World War II, a national border to be changed (other cases, like dissimilation of USSR, Czechoslovakia and former Yugoslavia were just divisions among the federal states; unification of Germany was also so; wars in Bosnia oficially didn't changed it's borders... so Macedonia is to be the first!)!!! This event could encourage more terrorist organizations (IRA, ETA, etc.) that they could success in their separatist intentions, and could trigger new wars for changes of borders!!!

Finally, let's see the geo-strategical constelation. If I were an evil senior official in Pentagon or CIA, I would like to destabilize all other opponents - European Union, Russia, China and Japan. So, the conflict in Macedonia both destabilizes EU and Russia (more precisely - whole Europe); notice that, except ourselves, the greatest economic damage from our war was done to German and Greek companies being investors in our country! If our war (and Kosovo one) finally ends, with no-matter-the-outcome, there should be found new fireplaces - and, as you might reason by yourself - the Baltic region is ideal for that! It's close both to EU and Russia, and would destabilize BOTH! The early source of conflict should be in Latvia, which is less democratic European coutry concerning minority rights, and then expand to south and north (I'm sorry, but I'm just analyzing "If I were"). But, while Balkan burns, you might feel safe, as there wouldn't be a need for new european war by Americans.

So, look how ridicilous is our situation: Greece, who made lots of problems to us during these 10 years of independence (in cluding long blocade of the border /which leads us to the nearest port in Solun[=Thessaloniki]/ and delaying our accompying to the UN family of nations), now is supporting us in this crisis!!! Why? Because they have problems with Albanians of their own (there were 1 million of them in Greece, now having no minority rights, or treated as "economic immigrants"), and would loose their economic interests in our country. Germany is also trying to be neutral, but the opportunism of their politicians is too obscure, so they can't see their interests. They are now leading the NATO mission "Amber fox", but still are not 100% objective in relations to us. France sent a new EU emmisary (the previous, french also, was bribed by Albanians, and was not following entirely the EU commision demands), which is also tryin to be more objective! While the american emmisary was expelled by our prime minister a week ago (namely, with the words: "Osama bin Laden is right when claims that YOU, AMERICANS, ARE THE GREATEST WORLD TERRORISTS", and I don't believe he will return to Macedonia). And... the promised Donatory Conference (after adopting Constitutional changes) is still far of sight, which could collapse the anyway fragile Macedonian economy, harmed also by crisis expenses... Large inflation awatis us!!!

CAUTION: Today(relativly) are the Kosovo parliamentary??! elections. The crisis was formally "calmed" until today; but intelligence services are expecting a soon All-Albanian uprising (concerning South Serbia, parts of Montenegro and Macedonia), which territories are to be added to Kosovo when [they hope - very soon!] it gains independence (it's more likely that today-elected Parliament, having 80% Albanian deputies, would declare that independence at once; but UN governor should put a veto on that decision). So, don't be surprised when you hear new news about our crisis soon.

Be in good health during this winter - and watch news!!! We, here, in Republic of Macedonia, aren't frightened of what's yet to come. We have too much nerves to be burned by small war accidents ;)))


среда, ноември 21, 2001

My legs hurt (too much hacking yoga)

enough poetry for this week, coming back to the boring ordinary blogging thing
"today I had coffe and cigarrete for breakfast
they say it's not healthy
but I am still young, so I will propably not seee the consequences of my silly acts by the age of thirty
so that means I have 10 (whoops) 9 years to live

if you are sitting nest to something wooden (like your head) knock on it so my previous sentence wont come true

thank you
you just gave me a year more to leave
tommorow I will check the couter and see how much u like me


понеделник, ноември 19, 2001

ode to a pub

part 3 and final

I had my ritual. I was happy to have it. The coffe that I used to drink at home was a war with the boredoom, the coffe that I drank there was different, special, something was going on in the usual working day. I don't say that it was not boring, but I used to find myself there between those walls and even if I was silent I felt like I was speaking. When I didn't speak, I was communicating, interacting with the walls, people, smoke, rhytm and base. I couldn't do it in any other place but there. Sometimes I would leave the house alone, go out, and stand by the wall. It happened that I rejected all the small talk. I allowed myself to make nonsense movements with my hands, led by the music. sometimes I was ashamed, sometimes I din't care, sometimes I cried and sometimes I laughed. Sometimes I would follow somebody with a malicious look, I used to push away people that I didn't like. I used to make loud commentaries, I had pride. Sometimes that pride was astonishingly big, sometimes I didn't have it at all. I did whatever came into my mind. I learned to speak smart, vicious, ironic, funny, sincere. I really learned a lot.

Now I have that problem that wherhever I go I look for tht place. I cannot find it anywhere. It is gone, it is not even in the place where it was back in my hometown. The place is still run, it still has people in there but I don't go there anymore, not too often. It's not my place anymore. I cannot do the things that I could do then now. Nothing is the same anymore. Nobody is the same anymore. I am not the same anymore.

I started to grow, I will never be the way I used to. I will always come back there, I will feel strange, I will think about what I was and who the hell I was supposed to be.....
I will come back


this thing was written in 1999
and really....everything is changed since then also:)
I guess changed mostly for better and I am very glad it is so

недела, ноември 18, 2001

ode to a pub

(part 2)

Different kinds of people used to go to the place where I had spent the most beautiful days in my life. I have learned a lot about people and myself. I have learned to sit by myself on the bar. I have learned to sit in silence when everybody else is drinking and dancing and to dance and sing while everybody else is sitting and staring. I have learned the meaning of standing by the wall and listening to the music for five hours without even saying a word. It’s one of the most important things that I have ever learned. Meditating and enjoying myself. I have learned that you can understand another person by just looking at him, and that in the evenings people carry masks on their faces. Yes, different kinds of people used to go there. They used to come and go, they were changing, constantly. I was changing constantly. They used to develop their personality there, or degrading their personality. I did too, depending on the moment. Lately, I could see myself in all the new 15-year-olds spending their rainy and sunny afternoons there. I could see in them how silly I had looked in those times. Sometimes I acted silly but I never acted wrong. The most important thing I guess was that I have learned not to feel sorry for anything I had done. Everything is a part of you whether you like it or not. The things that I had gone through are what I am now. Do not run to catch the chances, chances will come to you in this or other shape one day. Everything will come to you in its right time

Part three and final........yet to come

сабота, ноември 17, 2001

There is a place back in my hometown where every day I used to give 20 denars for cup of coffe and smoke 20 cigarretes.I don't know if it was worth doing only there, but I used to enjoy it. Sometimes (oh, god..sweet 16) I used to escape without paying for my coffe and in that case I had saved myself money for not walking home but going with bus. Of course those were only exceptions, because it was stealing and I am not a thief, I had to keep my reputation....which frankly speaking i didn't have.
I used to live in a town not known to the 99,99% of the world population so I now take this change to desribe it in few words. The town is ok, neither big or small,you can live there normally and safely. It's not expensive, you are in contact with all the blessings of the western civilization eventhough u r actually too far away from it, but in that time you don't know about it and you don't really care. After soem time you realize that it gets too boring and you escape. And finally, after managing to escape from it you realise that there are not good and bad cities, there are only good and bad moments in life, boring or interesting. Everywhere you go you can go the same things, you win or loose you walk in circle, it doesn't matter when and where, the meaning and the feeling actually stays the same.......

(part 2 later)

петок, ноември 16, 2001

What is the purpose of classical music. What is the purpose of dividing music into high and low, into artistic and rubbish? Is it only a way in which people can divide themselves into educated and uneducated, between consumers and respecters, between lovers and ignorants ?????????
Is a classical composer less of an artist than Jim Morisson for example? Do the sprayed cartoons on the walls worth the same as the works of Renuair(sorry if I have written the name wrong)? How far can we discuss art without discussing it the wrong way, what is art? Is it the form or is it the message? Is it the movement of the brush or the message which is hidden in the Andy Warhol’s tomato soups????
What is rubbish, what is art? Is it individual or is it something that had to be understood by everybody not only by those who where told what is the art of some things. Is art mainly a product or pain? Can a happy man be a great artist? Is art a product of frustration or of a talent, or maybe of both..... what is the feeling of producing, creating a work of art, does one do it for himself or for the others to enjoy it and to praise the author??????

Enough questions, going downtown to fill up my beer reservs..........

четврток, ноември 15, 2001

a little mistake...

the previous post was written yeterday but posted today because of my marvellus dial-up conneciton
I don't have to go to college today and spent all morning watching ali g video

so aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!
ania s is in da haus

listening to leb i sol-cukni vo drvo (a song which reminds me so much of my wonderfull childhood, mostly the the holidays in Pelister)
A wonderful day.........I am lying, it was awfull
First, having to wake up at 6 a.m, then going out t catch the tram. After I left the building where I live I thought i will start to cry from anger, it was so terribly cold, and I was wearing a winter jacket, two blouses, gloves, cap and all of that winter clothing kind of crap.......and that didn't workL I got frozen in November. Later on, in the afternoon, I went to find myself a job. It was on some street that I didn't know, at some place where I have never heard about and...as one can easily conclude from the above mentioned stuff, after 2 hours of walking I didn't get there. So I am angry on the weather, on the unserious people......
I think I need to get some sleep

p.s watching sex life at the moment, people have really serious problems with their body ( too long or too short front parts of it) and I sit here, drinking cappuchino and complaining about the weather.....

вторник, ноември 13, 2001

The worst thing was that she still had hopes that something could be saved, still. That the reason that he doesnt right doesn't have to be the one that he doesn't think about her. Maybe the hope was still with her because she couldn't live in other way than with hope. She ahad always watched the world with hopes evethough she was aware of the worst script that the destiny could have written for her. She wanted to wait. She waited for 4 long years. She waited because she had hope. She would have waited for 10 more if she someone would give her a sign that this is a waiting with an aim. If she couldn't recieve a sign she would think of one. Strange forces used to come to her in her dreams. A voice that used to tell her that she can get everything she wants if she cares about it enough. And she really was fitting in this category, she loved from the soles of her feet to the top of her head. She loved so much that this love was stronger than she was. That love was living instead of her, crying instead of her, speaking instead of her. That love was one with her. She was so damn sure that love couquers all, and if she let this love to guide her she will win. He will be hers. She couldn't imagine a life without him. Everything else wasn't making sense.

She was so daaaaaaaaaaaamn pathetic, will anybody helo her????????
A little something that i wrote last year.....

She was standing in a shadow. The shadow had the color of ink. She felt like if someone had poured that ink on her. Autumn was coming. It has always been like that in autumn. But she thought that maybe this time it would be different, that this autumn will be a crown to the most beautifull summer of her life.She wasn't asking for much, she only wanted to take a little piece of him with her. She didn't make it. All her hopes crushed. Only a shadow was left from the summer. A shadow means a rest in a hot july afternoon. A shadow means a curse in a September morning. Just like today, 29th of September, anno domini 2000.
She used to dream a lot. Some people would kept coming to her in her dreams.She got nervous because they were not excatcly the ones that she wanted to dream about. She couldn't control her dreams. She wanted to live through all this in her dreams. She reminded herself of the curse-May god give you everything you have ver wished for and then take it away from you. She never believed in that curse, but someone just had to throw it to her. In the times when she didn't have it, she used to think that if she finally takes it nobody will ever have enough power to take it away from her.She was wrong. That morning she undrestood she was wrong.

She was sitting in her room at eight o clock in the morning. Again she woke up at 7 eventhough she didn't have to. She couldn't sleep. And all she wanted was to sleep. She thought that if she sleeps she will rush up the day, rush up the year and that summer will be here again. There will be no such summers anymore. Nothing will be the way it was before.

part two yet to come :)

недела, ноември 11, 2001

I have mace myself a personality test at www.thespark.com.......which I strongly recomend and here are my results, I am a mastermind which in other words is submissive introvert abstract thinker:)

Like just 9% of the population you are a MASTERMIND
(SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your
reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to
analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected
solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." Don't learn

Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your
strengths, and people will respect your judgment once
they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more
personable, you could be a great leader--you've definitely
got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure all the plotting
you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.

Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow
and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns.

thom is tired......
And then I said to myself, damn it...you cannot write. Even the simplest 200-word reaction paper is a big problem for you, and it wasn’t supposed to be this way. You would love to write but you cannot write about anything else but yourself and that’s not exactly a talent, anybody who wouldn’t mind wasting his time (like you do) could do it. And it’s like all that is inside me stays there and dies there and I feel very sorry for that but there is nothing I can do to save it. This week it’s terrible, my i-net connection is worst than ever and even if I write something which I would be proud of myself the connection stops and the “blog this” shit doesn’t register anything that I cared to write down. And now I’m trying since 9 A.M to connect via this dial up thing but it just doesn’t work.
I guess it’s my P.M.S. period and that’s the reason I am so nervous, I cannot concentrate on one thing for more than 5 minutes, and I am terrible. There is a fire burning in my head and I think I will explode any moment (even tough I have already exploded today for a piece of tomato There is a little sun coming through my window but outside it’s very cold. On MTV Hey and cisza ja i czas, one of the greatest bands in Poland with one of the most original women in the Polish rock scene- Kasia Nosowska. She has a new look, dreadlocks. There are too many people in Wroclaw wearing dreadlocks...why is it that if something comes in fashion I begin to hate it, I get sick from it, so now it’s the dreadlocks situation that I hate, before that was I guess the Capri trousers (those short little pink sweet disgusting pantaloons which every girl used to wear during summer and it was so very ugly, I started to hate going out because of being doomed to watch girls with blue and pink Capri trousers)
I am nervous because, this week I haven’t been alone at home for 5 minutes, so that means that I have to beware my every step because I will have to hear this unpleasant high-pitched voice for the next 30 minutes for i.e. not leaving a pen in the right shelf. I see that I have changed 10 subjects in 20 sentences...hihihih...I begun to like it. Why don’t I just throw everything down, here, first on word processor and then on my blog. The hell with it I will. Now a little light glows in my head and it says CENSORSHIP... bip bip...that’s the end of it, don’t write about you state of mind, u are registered on the biggest portals with your real name and surname, so u have to watch your stupid reputation, what if someone who knows u read this, what if someone who knows you reads about him of herself here...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

I am watching MTV news...the Corrs ...discusting, Magda Femme.....Nice synonym but disgusting, five-a non-excisting boys-bend...only good news, Michael Jackson will shoot a movie with Liza Minelli about two artists not being able to make a career. Britney Spears with her sweet voice is telling about her new album, oh, guess what she just said fuck on MTV...I cannot believe it, holly Britney Spears.Halleluiah. Corrs new album, the best of...how original
Now playing on MTV-Dido- hunter

петок, ноември 09, 2001

sei la vita mia
quanta nostalgia
senza te

i santo california-practicing italiano

среда, ноември 07, 2001

anyways I saw this:)

today was a great day.....I mean nothing particular but one exception.....I always wanted to see Andy Warhol's works......and guess what.... I SAW THEM TODAY:)))))
and I am so very excited, i spent 3 hours in the gallery, paid 10 zloty (half-priced tickets), spent 1.5 hour staring at the series of ladies and gentlemen, myths, the gold book, maos and other extraordinary images and then about 1.5 hour watching a documentary about the genious himself.......

this is one of my favourite quotes from andy......put coke instead of tab:)

"You can see a billboard for Tab and think: Nancy Reagan drinks Tab,
Gloria Vanderbilt drinks Tab, Jackie Onassis drinks Tab, and just think,
you can drink Tab too. Tab is Tab and no matter how rich you are, you
can't get a better one than the one the homeless woman on the corner is
drinking. All the Tabs are the same. And all the Tabs are good. Nancy
Reagan knows it, Gloria Vanderbilt knows it, Jackie Onassis knows it,
Katharine Hepburn knows it, the baglady knows it and you know it."

вторник, ноември 06, 2001

I will never learn html.......
how the hell can I add a picture
this is a test nb 2

this is a test:)
I am learning html.......
since today, I thought I knew Wroclaw......but I got lost today.....again, and it was not just one street......there were like 20 streets and I didn't know how the huck I got there and how the hack to get out.....
but after some time, it started to sound fun....I found a nice park with a pond and ducks and swams swimming......and saw some beautifull buildings that I had never seeen before, and I didn't want to leave these unkown streets......so I send few sms-es and sat on a bench and had a few smokes feeding the ducks....
so again it has been a lovely day

понеделник, ноември 05, 2001

another happy monday has finished.......but of course......more modest than the previous time.....again I have made myself vacations, again I had bought myself too much beer and the only thing that could be skipped was the cinema (some french crime movie, I don't even remember the title)........and of course Mr. Sullivan was soooooooooooooooo veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy booooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

aha.......from now on, from time to time I will write on another blog since I got an invitation and I can't say no:)
but I'll add the link some other time since today I am to lazy to push back on the iexplorer:)

сабота, ноември 03, 2001

A MEMORY...........

We sit in front of St. Dimitrija' church. We can't see the moon because the houses and the church tower block the sky. Her, talking nonsense, and me drinking cheep beer bought from the nearby store. In front of us people walk to and from the bar. We will go there too later but now it's too hot inside and I had grown enough not to stay at the lobby anymore. Everywhere around me people are drinking beer or wine, I don't know them but I feel safe having them by. I feel I could tell them everything. I have just come home from the summer holidays and all I want is to see him. Finally he comes. Of course, he doesn't see me sitting on the church stairs. He just goes straight to the bar. I drink the beer in a record short time and leave the empty bottle next to my friend so she can take it back to the store. You have to take the empty bottles back to the store because the saleswoman won't sell you beer anymore. I walk inside the bar. Two pairs of stairs, I take the door in front of me. He is not sitting in the first room; he is in the other. Ok, so I continue my long walk. I can see his back through one of the little windows that connect the two rooms. And I enter the room, but I pass it quickly and go to the bathroom. It is free. I splash my face with water. Oh my god, my make-up. Ok, smile to the mirror, yeah yeah you look fine. I walk out. I go right behind me. He doesn't notice me or at least acts like that. So I sit next to him. He looks at me. I look at him. He has green eyes. He is smiling. I hug him. He kisses me. I think...oooooooh god........ How miserable is every summer holiday's flirt to this. How miserable are all emotions towards this. ...This is a culmination, it stays forever.

петок, ноември 02, 2001

My town is falling asleep in silence
Clouds hid the moon
Dream has been a king here since eternity

Here sleep the town’s beauties covered with stone make-up
And the young boys have fallen asleep with their thick jelly hair
And the cats are napping on the roofs
In the summer
The white walls of the houses are having their rest

I see my town not managing to recognize it
Crumpled, and protected by the sun dust
The stream of the mountain is murmuring quietly
And the wind blows in silence fondling the white hair
Of the old men sleeping.

I can’t see the color of my town’s eyes
Its lids are soft
I kiss them and leave

My town is asleep somewhere near the southern mountains
In the green valley seduced by Morphs
Somewhere far away the dead are resting from life at the white lazy cemetery
I walk in silence.
Leaving you,
I dont even try to turn around
I’m afraid that my tears will flood it’s phlegmatic

четврток, ноември 01, 2001

so here I am again......at the moment I am watching a movie.....double life of Veronique......I don't have the mood to watch it.....so I guess I will leave it alone at least for now
Yesterday I was at the cinema, and watched BLOW with one of my favourite actors......Johnny Depp of course (who else)and the movie was........well......interesting, I wouldn't call it a masterpiece but it was ok.....first it was funny (when he was selling marihuana) then it started to get serious (shen he started to work in Columbia and sell cocaine) and at the end it got reallllllly sad.....and of course.....I cried
then I went to one of my favourite clubs and danced on some latino rhytms till 3 a.m
and today.......I am absolutely worn out