среда, октомври 31, 2001

so I see blogger has added all those word processing things, which will maybe help me to improve my writing here.......because I know it is terrible:)
todays news is that from 5 a.m our undernet channel #ajvarche has an X (that wonderfull letter from the alphabet that helps ur channel to function normally)
and I definitely had a wild monday night......listening to chech covers of Beatles......
and above all......everything is ok:)

вторник, октомври 30, 2001

try to shut me up

put rockstar shut-me-ups on your own page!

ok.........I wanted to put this in other place but it just wouldn't fit there........so it was the only solution
I had really wild days.........but that's a long story......with a hangover as a result ;)
I'm in the middle of something now..........wo catch up with u later

понеделник, октомври 29, 2001

Lately, I have these very strange dreams (I see dead ppl:))))))))))and worse thing is that I have them constantly the action may be different but the setting and the circumstances are the same. And, the worst it that the action never ends the way I would like to.Sometimes (or even ...most of the times )the action never ends at all, just like in my life......it only begins and when it's the crucial moment.....it stops.......and damn........I get so frustrated
It's like me and him have to meet somewhere, he comes in time, I come in time, we are at the same place but we can't see each other and even if we see I cannot talk in my dream.....
or today I dreamed that I was in a car with someone and the next moment he was dead and I didn't kill him but in my dream I thought that I did and I had to hide the body
or.....war is coming to my town (it's a very often dream) and I see (like in sci-fi movies) some plains firing some coloured misiles.....and of course I have to run to my house to see if anybody had stayed alive, of course they are....but, I am not afraid in this particular dream, ppl are dying around me but I am not afraid.....I tun to a place where he lives, I have to check how is he......and.....nothing happens
or .....I have to cross some grain field all alone at night and nothing happens at that time I just walk.....I try to get to some house at the end of the field......I remember that this is a regular villafe cottage with chicken in front of it.....and when I get there I go to sleep

I would really like more varieties in my dream.....I got bored by those that I have mentioned

недела, октомври 28, 2001

The Names of -- Umberto Eco

Idiot. Above her head was the only stable place in the cosmos, the only refuge from the damnation of panta rei, and she guessed it was the Pendulum's business, not hers. A moment later, the couple went off -- he, trained on some textbook that blunted his capacity for wonder, she, inert and insensitive to the thrill of the infinite, both oblivious of the awesomeness of their encounter -- their first and last encounter -- with the One, the Ein-Sof, the Ineffable. How could you fail to kneel down before this altar of certitude ?
-------- Foucault's Pendulum, Chapter 1

ok so I've got myself a book......it is very big and u can see above how it is named and who wrote it........and a wonderful quote from what I have read so far

aha........stranger:) thanx for your very usefull reference paper:))))))

сабота, октомври 27, 2001

ahahhaa......did u know that??????
I have always loved the way she dresses anyway:) so not bad huh?

today I got so bored that I begun to make a cattalogue for my tapes.....and of course i finished after the 6-th one....I got bored very soon :)

currently listening to marylin Manson-nobodies....on radiostacja of course
someone has misunderstood me again, I got a lousy message on icq and I was perfectly misunderstood.....but since I don't want to mention any names I won't wirte anything else about it. I want to read a good book...if u have read something interesting write to me....I haven read a good book for a very long long time. When I was i Krakow, and it was like a month ago, I bought penguin eddition of The Fanthom of the Opera and kind of liked it, it was good to read while sitting for 5 hours in a train. and since then.....nothing.....I just visit bookstores, see some interesting books but I leave the bookstore with emty hands, the good books are eighter expensive eighter not for sale of course....
I promised myself that I won't go out these two weeks in order to save some money.....and I am keeping that promise....it's easier than to quit smoking
ok....more to come.....after the commercials of course

sitting in the room, writing on the discusion board......but nothing......I mean nothing to write about

but I am surely listening to daaaaaaaamn good d'n'b at the moment
too bad I am at home and not in Ohrid on the beach durin the rising of the sun.......and the same music of course......but u know, dancing barefoot on the beach......
I think I am sleepy

петок, октомври 26, 2001

Bjork Lyrics

yesterday I saw Bjork's Pagan Poetry on mtv.......but damn.......the best parts were hidden of course.....as it often happens on mtv. So now, I am going to keep a close look on zwei.....the best music tv I can watch, too bad it is in german, and too much german hip-hop-I hate rap when I don't understand the lyrics. I have to learn German some day, today I will have my first German test in this term, it will be something about perfect.....of course I don't know anything about it.....but I will take my chance, why not... I was told that the tests were easy, so we shall see


четврток, октомври 25, 2001

first he got into the page, then he started to worry, after that he told her that there is such a page on the net, and they both started to worry.....They felt like someone will kill their privacy. I know that he is going to check in more oftern, after all it's a public blog right? But I told them , there would be nothing about them here. They told me , how can u write a diary on the net and anybody can read it, and I told them, damn it's not a diary.....it's blog......I would never wrote a diary on the net, diaries are boring.....Why would anybody care what I ate for breakfast and where was I last night......they certainly don't know what a blog is. But they can sleep well, I won't mention them......maybe the thing that hurt them most was that they didn't understand a word written here.....and I do it so anybody can understand me:) but....sometimes, it doesn't work out.
I don't see what is wrong in here, no name mentioned except mine, no adress, no telephone number, no date of birth.....
it's said that every intolerance comes from fear
but they will get used to it, soon

среда, октомври 24, 2001

silence......only silence today. Me and my dots:)
been browsing through some blogs, some of which I liked some of which I hated, and there were few I really liked but I won't tell u which were they because i forgot.....anyway, most of them are polish.....from blog.pl
I am so very lazy lately, and a week ago I was all energy, I got so hyperactive that I didn't know what to do with myself, and now....it's normal.....I am lazy, just lazy
thank god I have at least done everything for tomorrow (presentation at conversation classes) so I guess....I am not that bad
Yesterday, i was reading the holy bible.....again, and eventhough I am sort of an atheist.....eventhough I would rather call myself agnostic, I found the bible the most beautifull, most complex, most misterious of all.....and that's why I am constantly returning to it.....it's a nice book before u go to sleep and it's aim is really to make a better person out of yourself.
and with this I will again say good night, morning and afternoon to all of u who will stop by and give me a visit
take care
Random Blatherings

"I'm not alone cuz the TV's on yeah...I'm not crazy cuz I take the right pills everyday"~JimmyEatWorld

вторник, октомври 23, 2001

Today's YOGA had killed me......and this was supposed to be relax......ok it was for the last 20 minutes when we were supposed to lay down and listen to our heartbeats or something........btw, I am home now, after 20 minutes I should be sleeping.........after all, tomorrow is another day
and........you know, the situation with the credit card.......I AM BROKE......you can send me donation:)))))
but anyway, I have like very little amount of zlotys to survive these, at least, two weeks and today I wanted to go to a nice coffe- bar to have a nice cup of coffe......and so I did but when I got the information about how much money I have to pay for this damn lavazza I almost started to cry.......anyway.......the meaning of the story is......look at me trying to save money.........it's not my fault, I war robbed today.........

again, getting at the wrong place at the wrong time.....
why wrong time?
it got so cold and we were sitting outside and before that it was sunny......

so......good night or good mornind or good whathever......
and wish me sweet dreams of course........bc lately I really prefer dreams, no mather how strange and surrealistic they are sometimes, to reality...

понеделник, октомври 22, 2001

one more ugly day......aren't they too many already???????
it's not my fault.....it's only me getting in the wrong place on the wrong time....and sometimes, not getting into any place where I should go at all
morning, woke up at 5 o'c'clock, I lost my father's tram card so he decided to punish me not giving me the money that I have borrowed him back (which, mind you, were like 5 times more than the fucked up card which has a value mind you again till tomorrow)
so I was too nervous to sleep again and of course I waited for few hours till everybody got lost from the flat and turned on the computer, make myself some coffe, light a cigarrette.......and to try to live again...

and it worked for few hours until i went to college......boredoom as usual
was to lazy to go to learn Italian someday
and went home
and got accused for spending some money from my credit card which o course I didn't spend
so my mother decided that I don't deserve the credit card
like I needed it
and she took it away
and I am sitting here, trying to think positive
thinking like.....you know, it's just a period, someday life will be beautifull
I live for 2 weeks, which will come in december when I will hug the only person in this world that I adore
and wonder again is it worth hugging him
for now, of course the answer is yes.....but.......
i hate but's

ok.....too many frustrated thoughts already

sick of it all

not listening to anything, my cd is kaputt and radio sucks

недела, октомври 21, 2001

can u think of a possibility to stay original?
can u think of a possibility not to be brain-washed?
Is is possible in todays world?????

is it????

can I hope for it......would it be too funny.....I love to believe in things.....love to believe in positive things such us greater tomorrow, love and happiness........

I think I sound funny......I have this problem from lie two years ago.....care about everything too much......and in the same time.......not doing anything about it.....just thinking

sorry for my dots
but I happen to like them ;)
yesterday again.....beer and vodka......but anyway.....it was not good....wrong music, wrong ppl, wrong me
when I came home.....it was about 3 a.m I turned on the computer and checked out whether somebody is on irc....and there was nobody at least nobody special, and after some time one nickname had showed on the screen telling me that I have a nice blog and things like that.....so I got curious and we started talking (typing:)....and that conversation had took me 1.5 hour (i guess) and so

I COULD SLEEP FOR THOUSAND YEARS.....I know that I have already written about it......but it's such an universal song

I wanted to say hello to that person in case he reads this now or maybe tomorrow
and take care....

that's it for now

listening.....kiril dzajkovski.......album....religion and sex....excellent

сабота, октомври 20, 2001

checking out what is in the wroclaw's cinemas.......

and the answer is NO THING!
at least not the things that i wanted to see.....and if they are you have to catch 7 different trams and get frozen at the bus-stop......NAAAAAAAH! not for me, not today thank you
i feel not so good and they all want to go out tonight......and I will, I don't know why......maybe not to feel lonely at home, maybe not to think about the things that I often think and even dream about....
I want to escape from one emotion, from one feeling which I can not stans
it's generally a positive feeling......but now it is DESTRUCTIVE for me

so that's why I am going to waste more money on beer
maybe the music will be ok
eventhough I doubt

listening to depeshe mode......freelove
have to go.....to eat:)

петок, октомври 19, 2001

I have always wanted to write.......and I have the opportunity to do it now.....I truly do not care if anybody will read me, I don't care about the counter and about the guestbook.....I begun to write this blog because I was writing diaries or just tried to express my emotions in every way I could.....because I feel I have a way of looking at the world and I need to express it......and no, I will not be original, and no.....this will never be a good blog.....it has a terrible graphic, I don't know any html......so webrings are not curious for me to join them.....but anyway.....that's not going to change anything, I will wtill write.....sometimes it's going to be rubish, sometimes it's going to be something better than rubbish....but anyway......is going to be something.....and that's all that matters.

Am I supposed to get personal???? I would love to, but I am afraid....not of recognition, because if u look carefully you can find a picture of me in one of the links that I have provided.....it's not about it at all.....it's about the ppl that I would have written about......if they would recognize here......I don't think they would feel comfortable......at least some of them will not be happy about this.....

and once......I thought that u can be anonymous in the internet....
but it's very hard
and......whathever.....I will not try to be anonymous....
I don't care about it....

so it's site of ania.....ana......ana-marija.....anna-maria......ania19.......Ania`......KrAzYbAlKaN.....all those names of mine which can be found on the net.....all of them are me....
so this is my piece in the net
my angle
my world
I am going to take good care of it :)

четврток, октомври 18, 2001

what has happened today??????

what will happen tonight, that is the question:)
i was very tired but an energetic drink has done the job.....so I am ok now.......ready to dance, or just to chat and drink few beers....

so wish me to have a nice night

thank you....
btw......heading to the second hundred......and I am very glad it is so

среда, октомври 17, 2001

it's a rainy day.........true autumn........HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

listening; primal scream-kill all hippies.......from my self- made napster-based compilations......it's a great song but i didn't like the video of it.....anyway, nothin's perfect

now I am thinking about something very important to me......i have a wish to make a degree paper on Irwine Welsh's Trainspottting.....but to view it not as a novel but as a collection of short stories put together in specific order which is novelish-like( new word, all rights reserved)
but....the problem is......who the hack is going to promote it since profesors in our insitute are only specialists on Sheakspeare, renesainse and romanticism......
so.....in best case maybe i will get the oportunity to write about Vonnegut.....whom I am about to read soon....This problem really gives me the creeps, time is passing and noone knows what will happen with the degree papers......and this isn't a thing which can be written in 2 days......

but.....anyway, looking forward to the weekend, to jatki, to beer and to loud music

вторник, октомври 16, 2001

Here comes the day....

the day that ensures me that autumn is coming. It can be met anytime, in spring, in summer but it always reminds you of the autumn. It's not about seeing yellow leaves and they are falling on your head but, simly the whole world is going grey. That greyness has no shine, there is no black and white.In The day when autumn comes it's very hard to distinguish between good and evil..It is very hard to follow just one road. Here comes the day....

I don't really care about the date, don't care about the hour, only thing that matters it's that everything is grey. My thoughts are grey. Here comes the day, you have to pack and leave. There is a long way to go, a way which begins and ends in autumn.

понеделник, октомври 15, 2001

some posts that I will publish, like the previous one are written long or not some long time ago but the thing is .....they were originally written in macedonian.....and they were supposed to be some kind of bad or better poetry.....but translated in english.....these poems are becoming mutants.....and I am very sorry for this

I have a song to sing.......

I COULD SLEEP FOR THOUSAND YEARS....... and so on and so forth.......

and that's why I am going to sleep and don't bore you too much today:)

and btw........if you visit my site.......


nobody's signing it
pls tell me that this site is good or that it stinks

tell me anything
any feedback is worth treasure to me:)

thanks in advance
love you

недела, октомври 14, 2001

Ajvar.com Forum

i believe in things that don't exist poetry is just a exchange for reality that I don't have
or.... to which i don't want to surrender that I don't admit for mine
In autumn, best ballads are being written, the blowing of the wind, the carresing of the leaves, the wind kisses them goodnight telling them bedtime stories about spring
The leaves will be dead by spring, and the wind gives death a magical shape
it makes it easy to stop breathing, the last beat of the heart
The wind is the most noble poet, it is always here to blow to my face when I start fantasizing about the summer

I don't want anybody to catch me writing
it is like shooting a porno movie
while you making love to the paper and the pen

Cloud 9 - Floating along with life

i like the way this blog is written......i love the ideas

btw.....it's another beautifull sunny day in poland and now I am listening to the last album of Nick Cave and reminiscencing my memories from his concert in Wroclaw in may this year.....it was marvellous.....the guy has a great charisma

i want to say sorry for all of you guys visiting my site for my poor English eventhough english is supposed to be my proffesion in life ( the next year I will become, or at least hope to become an English teacher). I have come through many errors in the blosg but most of them are I guess a product of my spontanity....i always post the text without re-reading it and when i see it published I blush because i see that I have made huge mistakes.....but.....nobody's perfect, right?

сабота, октомври 13, 2001

happy first hundred visitors to me!!!!!!!!!
i mean i was like 15 of that hundred but anyway that 80 ppl that visited me......are really more that i have expected
and this is the beggining
wait till i learn so me html:)))
if that day ever comes

anyway.....wish me 100X100 visitors.......and a perfect blog for the future
A Frightened Boy, presented by Joel Veitch

you just have to check this out.....i can't stop laughing.....here you have a little boy, crabs, britney spears and a kazak music:)))))))))
and.......more ......
a radiohead website.

again no update here......since july:(((((
Thursday's Child

checking out some david bowie lyrics.....from the songs from his last album hours which i looooooooveSomething about me stood apart
A whisper of hope that seemed to fail
Maybe I'm born right out of my time
Breaking my life in two

петок, октомври 12, 2001

I've just finished watching THE PEACEMAKER.....for the second time
and it was very interesting to watch for 2 reasons

1. the sarajevo, church scenes and mountain scenes were shoot in my hometown Bitola and thorought Macedonia
2. the recent wtc&pentagon attack......and getting into the mind of a pottential terrorist.....and in a way sympathize with him.....but only in a way of course

anyway, great movie, it opens the eyes on some subjects......universal, global subjects.......and...a great action
Gooseberries.....thos is a link to where I am now, reading gooseberries from chekhov bc i attended 2 short story seminars for this term and by december i will be certainly a short story expert
the biggest reason for me being at the short story seminar is that it is a long story seminar....so, i dont have to read another moby dick again:))))

yesterday I was out with the group from college, in a loud, dark and metal bar......so it was fun and loud....and later me and my two friends were at the guinnes pub and there were lots of english-speaking ppl so we really felt that we are not in wroclaw for a while....anyway after the few beers we vere little tipsy but my friend had saved me money for taxi (i am broke with a big B)and i was brought home with her car...thank u hania:)
and today.....i will rest, no clubbing, no drinking, no loud music.....i will sleep sweets dreams not long after writing this posts and saying hello to all of u who will soon visit my blog

среда, октомври 10, 2001

good evening everybody, it's evening here now.....like....if someone was reading me:))))
i hate it when i am in college from 8 am till 6 p.m
i feel tired, spend too much money on coffe and juice, and run-off
but anyway.....i have to survive this term

yesterday i got inspired from a mail i got and i wrote a verrrrrrrrry long post....but guess what? i clicked on the x button instead of the _ button and my loooooong text had dissapeared and is likely never to return again.....can you imagine the frustration????

do not go to www.projectgutenberg.com......never......
i wanted to find some chekhov short story and guess what i found there???? "die fucken muslims".......maaaaan this is reaallly really sick (it has nothing to do with me taking any side to any war in this world.....i hate war, hate violence, hate when ppl die....)
and i just wanted to read a short story......
and guess what they present themselves as christians.......christian would never do a thing like that
at least not the early christians

two weeks ago i was in krakov and i went to see the polish blockbuster QUO VADIS....and i didn't like the movie....it was too hollywoodish.....but what i like is the idea of the early christianity, the idea of forgiving, loving and justice.....
i loved the character of St.Peter and Paul (only the idea of the character not the acting)
and Michal Bajor acted the roman caesar Neron......i was astonished by his acting skills
i would also loove to see moulin rouge......to see McGreggor and the setting of the movie....
eventhough i have heard that the movie is a failure....but i loved romeo and juliet and since it is from the same director maybe i will like this one too

anyway.....enough blogging for today
got to find that chekhov story
or i get d tommorow

вторник, октомври 09, 2001

i have to learn some html......sometime

not now......
you know what????i started yoga today........i think i wont like it but i need to go because i have to pass this term:)
anyway, i got 2 wonderfull mails today which made me very very very happy, now i feel warm and safe and know that ppl i care for care about me....that's a wonderfull feeling.i wish i could hug them right now and tell them how much i love them.....anyway.....1200 km......it's nice distance to stay away for almost a year and to try to keep some kind of a relationship.....but sometimes.....like this time, it is just worth to try
when you realize the true meaning of love you realise that you don't have to be together all the time (because that's not love, tha's addiction) it's just the feeling that you and the other person are two different entities but after all you make one. and the distance sometimes ( i repeat sometimes) has nothing to do about it....the truth always wins

i feel romantic today, eventhough i am again tired
i had to look up in a dictionary some 30 names of fish..........geeeeeee.........that was awful.......i hate my conversation classes, nothing personal mr.b ( very un-communicative american trying to teach us some english)
i think i am going to become a fish expert:)
hmmmmmmm.......nothing to add.
to lazy to talk about nonsense
to lazy to be a philosoph today
so i guess i will leave this alone

i have received my first critics and congratulations on my blog......and I want you to know that i really appreciate it.....so thank you very very much for wasting your time of reading me:)

my father's birthday live

4 people in the dining room
talking about politics
my mother and father (polish and a macedonian)at this moment are trying to explain to the couple visiting them (polish) about the same suffering of afgan woman and serbian woman and a macedonian woman......trying to persuade them that they all suffer as much as american women who had lost their family, children and friends from the 11 september terrorist attack. And the couple finds it difficult to understand. They think that only the americans have the right to suffer and they simpatise with them and they think that all the innocent civillians killed in the nato campaign in serbia a year ago (children, women, btw children's hospital also) is a collateral damage

there is no collateral damage folks
at least not for me
every human suffering is worth the same prize
and has to deserve the same attention and sympathy
that's what makes us human
the power to feel, symphatise and forgive
the power to be tolerant, to see the situation from more than one side, to think-rationally

понеделник, октомври 08, 2001

it's my father's 44th birthday today........wish him everything the best and to always be the greatest father as he has always been.......XXXXX

i have drunk few glasses of votka.......it feeeeeeeeeels gooooood
listening to macedonian folk blueeeeeees
the best blues in the world
i guess you dont't really know what I am talking about right now.....it takes a balkan soul to understand it.......sorry, not my fault:)

zajdi zajdi jasno sonce
ej gidi ludi mladi godini
so maki sum se rodila
snoshti minaf pokraj vazi

and last but not least.........aj zasvirete mi calgiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


just.....to leave something from inside
i finished (almost) what i had to do.......and i am very happy about it
and.....had the very first italian lesson in my life
and......very sad after watching the news, learning about a new plane catastrophy in milan and dead civillians in asia
now.....taking a rest in front of my blog of course.....suffering from slow connection
i am truly ........veeeeeeeery tired

i guess i will leave now to learn some italiano:))))))

just wanted to say good morning from wroclaw, poland.....
it's going to be an ugly day:((((((((

недела, октомври 07, 2001

i've just turned off the television
war against terror has started
american folks are in front of the tv watching another war in live eating popcorn
and i want you to think about all the fear tonight at cabul
as well as i feel sorrow for all those who died in new york
as well as i feel sorrow for jews, and palestinians, and all the people which are hurt because the big guys are plying with cruise missiles
i only hate the big guys
we r all toys in their hands
our life and death depends on them

and god bless all macedonian soldiers who gave their life for the freedom of the sold country of Macedonia
and god bless all the ppl who truly fight for peace in the world
god bless those who can love their enemy, or at least understand it as a human beeing and stop the war

I'm talking nonsense
these words that i have written are pure bullshit
don't read them

i'll go and watch some movie
and forget about the things that nobody can solve
after all it's asia right?
not my city
(eventhough it has be mine)

dear blog
i feel helpless
tommorow.......i hate mondays......must go and do some shitty bueraucratic (or whathever it is written) things in college.........like begging for a sign, like knocking on some 50 doors and be sent to 50 more......then going to some psychology lessons.......and then a little writing with dear mr Sullivan.......
and smoking a pack of cigarretes
and going home.....
and be broke again.....because it occurs that you cant afford a cup of coffe from the college bar......
and......blah blah blah.....
i want this week to end soon
or at least the nest few days
i just want to be a regular student on the third year, to get my schollarship and buy myself some books and do some homework
everything except for bureaucracy:((((((((((((((
oooh it;s another boring and lazy sunday......i hate sundays......on one hand is good because you can rest and everything but on the other hand......that rest gets boriiiiing.....all the shops are closed......i must walk 5 streets just to buy myself cigarretes.......it's terrible when you dont have cigarretes in sunday
at the moment i'm listening to radiohead's kid a
how to dissapear completely and never be found
from a tape
now......i'm going for a smoke to the kitchen, make myself some coffe and back to blogging
:)maybe to write something more in here
because.......it's naked:(

сабота, октомври 06, 2001

i got very nervous reading a provocation adressed to me and to my friends from ajvar.com discussion forum.....something like all gaurs will die and nonsense like that..........
i hate one thing in this world
it is called BRAIN WASHING
and the bigger part of the planet is consisted of brain-washed people.....thinking that what they think and feel and the way they live is the only apropriate way.....or worse......feel that they are chosen by some powerfull force to destroy you.....
i fear these ppl eventhough they make me laugh....
this world is a ugly place
there will never be peace
there will never be ultimate happines and liberty
no way....
i cannot believe that
i spent the day reading e.a.poe's black cat, book on radiohead by alex ogg ( which is a pure document....and i expected something else, really) and after that, i tried to read hills like white elephants from Hemingway.....but i was to lazy to finish it....
it's a beautifull, sunny day again
sitting in front of my notebook and playing some matching game....which has taken me like 20 minutes of my precious time
yesterday evening i found out that i am a bankrupt and i went out feeling very ill and went home early.....if 2 a.m is early, anyway i got a strange phonecall at 1.a.m one more icq-guy asking me to join him at some disco, of course, he was refused......eventhough my friend actually wanted me o go and meet the guy but........you know, i'm not so crazy as I may look like
this weekend is going to be a peacefull one.....
i think i am tired
i need some rest
and I hope I'll get it

петок, октомври 05, 2001

i would like to know if i can put some web-gems here, such us web counter, guestbook or something like that....
if anybody knows......anam22@hotmail.com is waiting for your mail:)
...it.s already dark here, coffee is great.....now i ll go to the kitchen for a smoke
My name is ania.......i am in wroclaw, poland at this moment eventhough very often i would like to be in another place.....more to the south, the balkans, macedonia
but....i am here now, and it looks like that it is going to be this way in the next 3 years (until i finish my college) and maybe longer.....maybe i will finally like it here and hate it there.....
but anyway, the thing is.......i hate changes
like, i had my chance to be happy once......and what happened......i had to go back to poland.....had to go back to college.....to the traffic jam and stinky trams
but....on the other hand i know that i must be happy for what i have, and own, and feel, and think.....
it can always get worse
here it/s 6.14 pm.....it's europe here:)))))gtm or something
it's friday night, in few hours time I' m going to spend some money on beer.....
going to dance a little while on underworld.....or whathever the dj is going to play tonight and late in thew evening....suppose, coffe and milk at SkY.....nice coffe bar for 4 a clock in the morning

the sun is going down
the temperature is falling
got to go now, to find some articles about euthanasia for my friend
this is my first post
this is my first blog
i don't know what this thing is going to look like
i haven't really read a blog
i don't know why you should read mine
i know one thing
and I am certain about it.........I HAVE TO WRITE
i need to write
and this is just another form of expressing myself
to just.....leave something from inside:)