It's been a calm morning. I love Sundays in Wroclaw. There are few clouds in the sky, I would like it to rain. It is wonderfull to sit at home with the balcony opened and to watch summer rain falling. After the rain, everything seams to be easies, above all it's easier to breathe.
2 more weeks......keep on moving.....it's just two more weeks....and then....everything will be allright
недела, јуни 30, 2002
сабота, јуни 29, 2002
And U want to find a word, way, gesture, metaphore, whatever that sounds similar to it. Something which will break through u, close to that place where the true answer is revealed. The Question is : WHY THE HELL DO I ALWAYS WANT TO COME BACK TO BITOLA????
Hot summers, freezing cold winters, silence in the afternoon siesta in which the furniture talks, waiting for the taxi, the stinking Dragor pretending to be a river, broken windows in my high school, empty talk and boring Visage, the park full with drunk underaged voices, people-symbols, people-appeareances, people-emptiness, stone make-up, the cross above the German Graves, the bored audience in the theatre.
You want to come up to something new, a verse that wasn't written before, a song that haven't been sung before.
It such a bore. Bitola, I hated this town, I still hate it. Everything is the way it has always been. Like in a photograph. It is a hole. A well in which coins are thrown in order to bring you luck. Bitola, three syllables, melodic, short, you can sing them forever. DO not destroy the house of Lord. Go and come back again. Light a candle in Begova Cesma. Kill the animal within you. Go and gossip again, make yourself a goddess, you have to look beautifull tonight. After all it is the only place in the world where somebody notices you. Matbe because there is too little to be noticed at all. Go , dye your hair. And after you stay there for a while, become anonymous again. Write a blog. Nobody will read it anyway.Stay another ant locked in a cell with internet and cable tv, with instant coffe, and instant onion soup that you just finished writing this, have an instant orgasm and an instant death which is waiting for you in wome instant future, no mather where you are......
Hot summers, freezing cold winters, silence in the afternoon siesta in which the furniture talks, waiting for the taxi, the stinking Dragor pretending to be a river, broken windows in my high school, empty talk and boring Visage, the park full with drunk underaged voices, people-symbols, people-appeareances, people-emptiness, stone make-up, the cross above the German Graves, the bored audience in the theatre.
You want to come up to something new, a verse that wasn't written before, a song that haven't been sung before.
It such a bore. Bitola, I hated this town, I still hate it. Everything is the way it has always been. Like in a photograph. It is a hole. A well in which coins are thrown in order to bring you luck. Bitola, three syllables, melodic, short, you can sing them forever. DO not destroy the house of Lord. Go and come back again. Light a candle in Begova Cesma. Kill the animal within you. Go and gossip again, make yourself a goddess, you have to look beautifull tonight. After all it is the only place in the world where somebody notices you. Matbe because there is too little to be noticed at all. Go , dye your hair. And after you stay there for a while, become anonymous again. Write a blog. Nobody will read it anyway.Stay another ant locked in a cell with internet and cable tv, with instant coffe, and instant onion soup that you just finished writing this, have an instant orgasm and an instant death which is waiting for you in wome instant future, no mather where you are......
At this moment I am watching Monty Python-the meaning of life, one of my favourite movies (it's the commercials now on tv otherwise i wouldn't have been writing this post)....it is the ugly part when a man is forced to donate it's organs and he is killed in the very montypaytonian way..and after it they force his mother to do the same with the wonderful song of......just remeber that you standing on a planet that's revolving.....bla bla.....gone to watch it again
that was ania especially for blog,thank you back to the studio
that was ania especially for blog,thank you back to the studio
today it is ok...the layout is on its place and I guess we can continue from here the way it was before. too bad I will be leaving in two weeks time and I won't have the chance to write to this blog as often as П would like to but anyway, I am satisfied (sort of) with the way it looks...someday I will change the colours since pink is not one of my favourites....it's one of my least favourites...
петок, јуни 28, 2002
I guess something is against me today. 5 seconds ago i wrote a really nice post about my missing template about which blogger doesn't have a solution...and I don't know what to do about it. I really don't deserve it, i was a goooooooood girl.
listening to massive attack-unfinished sympathy (since I cannot put it into its proper place)
listening to massive attack-unfinished sympathy (since I cannot put it into its proper place)
четврток, јуни 27, 2002
it's been a month since I have written something on this poor devastated and ridiculous blog. Nobody comes here so what's the big deal, I don't know. Shall I say that I write this for myself, П could write a diary for it and I do , all that is written here is meant to be written for somebody to read. So there is no sense of lying to myself and to all of you casual visitors. I added a comment page in case anybody would like to say something and in case somebody was too lazy to write in the guest book.
Anyway we have a beautifull sunny weather up there in Poland. Wroclaw is wonderfull these days. Concerts, street artists, end of exams, pubs working all night, everything is perfect. In few weeks time I will be in Macedonia. Sitting in the garden, reading some samrt books, and yes....learning spanish, french and buisness english....I have some books and I will try to make some use of my free time. I will try to get a job but I don't believe this will be possible, and I still hope to have one ......eternal optimism is going to destrory me some day.
I have passed all my exams, I will get a diploma soon and yes.....I am finally something more than a high school graduate....jeeeee....english teacher.........yuk!
and two more years in this crazy institute....poor job oportunities, poor salady oportunities, bunch of lazy children waiting for me to teach them present continous tense.....or phrasal verbs.......YUK!!!!
but anyway......it's summer, officialy and unoficially......3 months of nothing in fron of me. This will be the longest vacation in my life......
hurrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!
Anyway we have a beautifull sunny weather up there in Poland. Wroclaw is wonderfull these days. Concerts, street artists, end of exams, pubs working all night, everything is perfect. In few weeks time I will be in Macedonia. Sitting in the garden, reading some samrt books, and yes....learning spanish, french and buisness english....I have some books and I will try to make some use of my free time. I will try to get a job but I don't believe this will be possible, and I still hope to have one ......eternal optimism is going to destrory me some day.
I have passed all my exams, I will get a diploma soon and yes.....I am finally something more than a high school graduate....jeeeee....english teacher.........yuk!
and two more years in this crazy institute....poor job oportunities, poor salady oportunities, bunch of lazy children waiting for me to teach them present continous tense.....or phrasal verbs.......YUK!!!!
but anyway......it's summer, officialy and unoficially......3 months of nothing in fron of me. This will be the longest vacation in my life......
hurrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!
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